AUG
I have been thinking about writing an auto biography for a long time. Indeed I have a synopsis to work from a couple times before but was never happy with it. Not really sure if it was every really for others to read but just for me to self reflect on my own struggles with dyslexia and learn from them. This is the latest synopsis and I am reasonably happy with it.
As a child I loved school but I always seemed to struggle with writing, spelling and reading. However, I gained a love of books from my father. He used to read to me constantly from a very early age. My mum told me that when I was about 3 years old people would look at and watch me apparently reading out loud Noddy books word for word. But in reality I had listened to the stories so many times I had learned it word for word page by page.
At primary school I particularly enjoyed art, music, science and storytelling I don’t really remember having any problems with this. I do remember my hand writing and spelling never seemed any better at all. In those days there was no such thing as learning support but I had a fantastic teacher, Mrs Lyden, who was very patient with all in the class. So I don’t remember school ever being anything but a great place to be.
One day my mum had to keep me off school for the day because I had a hole in my trousers. I liked school so much that I sneaked out of the house and went off to school. That’s how much I enjoyed going to school lol.
When I was about eight years old I became interested in space, space exploration and in life on other planets. I dreamed of going into space a lot as a young kid. But I never got there like so many of us. I still remember watching in awe at the first moon landing. I was 11 years old and it had a real impact on me.
One night, about a week after watching the moon landing, I had a frightening nightmare. A bright full moon was shining through my bedroom window. For some unknown reason something shot out from the moon smashed through my bedroom window and set my bedroom on fire. I remember struggling hard trying to climb out of bed but was paralysed and unable to move, scary stuff at the time. Not sure if this is true for all dyslexics but I have a strong and vivid visual imagination.
My interest in space gave me an incentive to read science fiction, (sci fi), books and space fiction books, in spite struggling with my reading. I just thought it was normal to lose your place a lot when reading, to reread texts over and over and having to sound out words. Authors like HG Wells, John Wyndham Arthur C Clark just caught my imagination and I soaked up books like a sponge from around age nine.
One night, about a week after watching the moon landing, I had a frightening nightmare. A bright full moon was shining through my bedroom window. For some unknown reason something shot out from the moon smashed through my bedroom window and set my bedroom on fire. I remember struggling hard trying to climb out of bed but was paralysed and unable to move, scary stuff at the time. Not sure if this is true for all dyslexics but I have a strong and vivid visual imagination.
My interest in space gave me an incentive to read science fiction, (sci fi), books and space fiction books, in spite struggling with my reading. I just thought it was normal to lose your place a lot when reading, to reread texts over and over and having to sound out words. Authors like HG Wells, John Wyndham Arthur C Clark just caught my imagination and I soaked up books like a sponge from around age nine.
One of the benefits of being dyslexic is I can read the books I enjoy over and over and still find something new in the text. I still enjoy reading Wells and Wyndham today.
To my dad's consternation, I still loved to read Thomas the Tank Engine books which were books for a 6 or 7 year old as well as the sci fi books. I loved the feel of the Thomas books, the artwork, the familiarity and they were easy to read. I must have worn those Thomas the Tank Engine books out at the local library. My father even tried to ban me from reading them but I couldn’t stop reading them.
It was the start of the falling apart or my relationship with my father. I did struggle at school no doubt, and the harder I worked the less progress I seemed to make and the less interested my dad became in my school work and in me. It seemed no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I worked my hand writing never got any better, my spelling didn't improve, I couldn’t do exam revision because information just wouldn’t stick. I guess my dad became disappointed in me. I know I was disappointed in myself.
It was the start of the falling apart or my relationship with my father. I did struggle at school no doubt, and the harder I worked the less progress I seemed to make and the less interested my dad became in my school work and in me. It seemed no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I worked my hand writing never got any better, my spelling didn't improve, I couldn’t do exam revision because information just wouldn’t stick. I guess my dad became disappointed in me. I know I was disappointed in myself.
My teachers were always telling me I was a bright kid in school reports but I just couldn’t show it in exams. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t pass any written exam, I just couldn’t write legibly enough and get my thoughts down on paper clearly enough. In the end I just stopped attending school at the age of fourteen. Learning in school became boring and a chore and I just didn’t enjoy being there.
Oh I would attend art and music lessons, I enjoyed Religious Education, (RE) too. Not because I was a religious person though. Thinking back now in RE we did a lot of debating of issues and philosophy. You don’t have to worry about bad handwriting and poor spelling doing any of these activities. Not surprisingly though the only exam I passed was Art everything else was a spectacular failure. Not that I really know this as didn’t even open my exam results, the letter went straight into the bin.
My relationship had just totally broken down with my dad by then as well. We just couldn’t communicate at all. So I started hanging out with other kids on the streets in the local gang. I got involved in gang fights, football hooliganism and drinking for a while. It was difficult to escape it on the estate where I lived. There was an anger and frustration inside of me, I felt disappointed in myself because I failed at school and angry with my dad and with school. The gang gave me an outlet for that. In the end, like many male dyslexics I got into trouble with the law.
However, I started getting more involved in music, can’t remember how but I became a disc jockey at the local youth club for a couple of years. Around this time I had a craze for buying vinyl albums. I would go to Wembley Market every Sunday to look for new albums to buy. I would just go by look and feel of the cover art; if I liked that I bought it and eventually ended up with thousands of vinyl albums. So maybe it must have been because of my record collection lol.
It was around this time I fell in love for the first time as well. Music and being in love were much more fun the going to football and fighting so my gang phase became just that......a phase.
Being dyslexic didn’t stop me from doing manual work though and I did a few manual jobs for a few years. However, sooner or later some manager or other would tell me I was a smart kid great with customers and would promote me into an office job. Where, without fail, I would crash and burn spectacularly. The whole dyslexia thing with organisation, form filling and memory proved to be an impossible barrier to overcome at that time.
When I was about 21 I fell in with a new bunch of guys, we became friends started a band together. It was the start of my long association with music on a serious basis. I don’t know or why we all got on though. They were all well educated with university degrees and in great jobs, there was I working in a builder’s merchant’s yard loading big lorries, driving fork lift trucks and lugging bags of cement around.
One of the guys father was a school caretaker and he let us use the swimming pool heating room to jam it. We nicknamed it, “The Hole”, because it was located underground and it was like a sauna. It was a great place where we could all hang out, jam as loud as we liked and generally do what we wanted. We thought we were King Crimson but in reality we were King Craptastic lol. This will give you little taster of how it was. We would jam out Deep Purple’s, “Smoke on the Water” for hour after hour. Not the whole song though just the intro lol.
I think we were just a bunch of anachronistic hippies we followed the summer music festival scene with the Peace Convoy for a few years. We played small gigs here and there at places like Stonehenge, Glastonbury and Vines Cross and just being very chilled out. I believe the music enabled me to re programme my dyslexic brain and develop better a memory and ability to concentrate amongst other things.
I could write a whole book about whole music period of my life, what I can remember of it that is. All I do know is I had a talent for music and playing bass guitar. I played and made friends with a lot of fantastic talented people and I just had fun.
In 1988 aged 30 or so I felt I needed a change and so went to college for one day a week. I had to start right from the beginning taking subjects such as maths, English and computing at a very basic level.
All the teachers were phenomenal, inspirational even. It was around this time I was introduced to computers and word processing software. Ok it wasn’t perfect; I still struggled with spelling and getting my ideas out, but for the first time could express myself on paper without worrying about my handwriting. Wooohoooo! to my own amazement I found I could learn and actually pass exams. I discovered something I thought I never would, a love of learning.
I met and made great friends with everyone on this course. We were a small group who had, for many different reasons, hadn’t done well at school. It was such a positive experience for me and it encouraged me to look for a full time course. Moreover, I passed every exam with flying colours achieving 98% in one English exam alone
The following year I was lucky enough to find funding that enabled me to take a full-time Access to Teaching course. Have to thank the Diocese of Southwark for this funding. Without it I would never have been able to take the course.
As part of the application process I had to go through an interview with the course teachers. There was a question about Shakespeare which flummoxed me for a minute as I had never read any of his work. So I started to talk about a sci fi book I was reading at the time and, to my amazement, was accepted on the course.
It was fantastic and included subjects such as English language and literature, maths, history, geography and psychology at “O” and “A” level. I still struggled with exams but managed to pass because of my course work and so gained a place at university.
I met and made great friends with everyone on this course. We were a small group who had, for many different reasons, hadn’t done well at school. We would all help each other, come into college over the holidays and work together. It was such a positive learning and life experience for me.
It was while at university I discovered that I was dyslexic. It was like a light being switched on in a darkened room. It took a while to adjust and come to terms with but then off I went. I learned how to learn, I gained an understanding of why I failed at school. More to the point I discovered I had an academic potential.
The Access to Education Qualification gave me automatic entry to Roehampton University where I studied DSc Geography and a QTS in Primary Education. In football parlance my experience their was a game of two halves. Have to say Roehampton was a bit of a culture shock. Going from a college in central London to Roehampton university with was a stones throw from Wimbledon Tennis Club to some getting used to.I did very well with all the practical geography field work but, once again, the issues with my hand writing reared its ugly head. It was fine for written assignments but I couldn't write fast enough legibly enough for exams. The actual process of revision was a bit of a dark art to me lol.
I remember having a conversation with one of the geography teacher. He produced one of my assignments and he basically said, "how are you ever going to pass any exams with hand writing like this?" However in spite of what I said I did manage to pass my Geography exams apart from one. I had to resit one exam but failed again.
I did very well with the QTS side of things, the teacher was fab, very supportive and I passed the with ease.
At no time did anyone mention I may be dyslexic though, it may have been Disabled Student Allowance was not a thing in 1989. But in spite of doing very well my confidence was eroded. But Roehampton said I had to resit my first year.
It was then my, as yet unknown dyslexia, determination kicked in and I changed university and resat the first year at the University of East London. I decided to just concentrate of a BSc in Geography.
It was here my dyslexia was pick up on by the University. I was given Disabled Student Allowance which gave me access a free dyslexia assessment, free dyslexia learning support, assistive technology software and a 486 DX 2 66 Windows computer. The best bit of this was a computer keyboard which meant now more being judged by my poor hand writing.
This is why I believe society can enable and disable dyslexics. In one university i was disabled and the other enabled.
I studied for an Honours Degree in Geography I loved every minute of it. Whilst at university I did volunteer mentoring of kids with additional learning support needs at primary and secondary school with the East London Connection. It spurred me on to stay in education for another year and take a teaching qualification. It was a full times Post Graduate Certificate in Inclusive Education after finishing my degree.
In 1995 I began my teaching career working with young people with learning difficulties and disabilities and it was my passion. I learned such a lot from the students I worked with. Teaching was so much fun and very challenging.
During this time I became involved in working with disaffected students. Many were bright individuals who had not achieved at school for a myriad of different reasons. Many didn’t have any qualifications that would enable them to take the course the courses they were interested in taking.
As a result I designed an engineering course that concentrated on the doing, practical side engineering, taking an engine apart and reassembling it, wiring and building small electrical equipment and writing and recording music they had written themselves or music they listened too. By enabling students to do the practical it encouraged them to tackle their difficulties with reading and writing.
Of course over half the students on this course were later found to be dyslexic. As a result, and because of my own dyslexia, I began taking specialist dyslexia teacher training courses in 2008. Eventually I became a specialist dyslexia teacher.
In 2000 I got new a new job as Co-ordinator for Dyslexia Support at a college, which I did for about 7 years. Whilst employed at the college I designed, developed and managed a new dyslexia project, “Breaking the Barriers of Dyslexia”,. It’s basic aim to provide access to free dyslexia screening and assessment for staff at the college. It was also designed to raise a more positive profile of dyslexia at the college.
At that time I was running open advice sessions for staff and I found many were concerned they may be dyslexic or were dyslexic but didn’t know what to do about it. Many felt if it were found out they were dyslexic it would adversely affect their teaching careers. I am very happy to be a dyslexic and believe dyslexia brings many positives such as great problem solving skills and ability to visualise the big picture of any issue etc.
I approached the Learning and Skills Council in London with a project proposal, “Breaking the Barriers of Dyslexia”, which they accepted and fully funded my project to the tune of fifty thousand pounds.
Our original target for the project was to provide free dyslexia assessments for eight members of staff. All the staff assessed were given training in dyslexia friendly work strategies and assistance in applying for Access to Work funding.
It was a very successful project, over 300 members of staff were screened and we provided dyslexia assessments to 23 staff including teachers. However, at the end of project party the majority of staff assessed as being dyslexic still didn’t want managers to know they had been assessed. So it wasn’t a total success but it indicates how much of a hidden issue dyslexia can be.
I have a very positive outlook towards my dyslexia and one of the reasons I developed the project was enable others to see dyslexia in a positive way. But to so many of us being dyslexic is something to be ashamed of and something to be kept secret.
I do not believe dyslexia is a disability, what does make it a disability to begin with is an education system that just does not meet our learning needs and enable us to access the learning that takes place in schools. It’s a society issue not and individual dyslexic one.
In 2007 I was made redundant from my post at the college. So I decided to move back to Scotland where I was born. My family had moved to London when I was still a baby and I had lived there all my life. It was just the right time for me to move back home.
It was time for a complete change and brought with it many new challenges for me. Unfortunately my employer kept all the assistive technology I had got through Access to Work. It was a big blow as I was reliant on the technology to help me with any reading and writing task. This basically disabled me as I was unable to complete application forms etc without access to computer. This is why I believe it is society that disables not being dyslexic.
I began to seek work but found that dyslexia was way down the priority list within training organisations, businesses and even in local, regional and national government. I spoke with many dyslexic individuals who couldn’t find any support to enable them to overcome the barriers they faced because of their dyslexia. My own barrier was I couldn’t find access to any assistive technology anywhere in Job Centres, training providers and in other places there to assist people with gaining employment. .
However, I was lucky and successfully applied to a charity for funds that enabled me to buy a new lap top and assistive technology. My wife helped me a lot with this.
It was in response to this situation that I founded Dyslexia Pathways in 2008. To begin with I used my own money to set up my company. We became incorporated as a social enterprise in 2009. I didn’t want Dyslexia Pathways to be a charity but I still wanted it to have social aims. As a result I set up Dyslexia Pathways as a Community Interest Company social enterprise. I am a great believer in the social model of disability and that was why Dyslexia Pathways became a social enterprise.
In 2009 I won two social entrepreneur awards from First Port and Scotland Unltd. This provided me with funding which enabled to set up the Dyslexia Pathways web site and win new business. Setting up the business was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. Activities such writing a three year business plan, information leaflets, web mastering and financial projections just took such a long time to get right. It required developing a whole new skill set from leadership skills to marketing.
I have to thank my wife for her support with this though. She kept me focussed, worked on the financial sections of the business plan etc. I would never have got there without her support.
Since becoming a social enterprise Dyslexia Pathways has won contracts to supply dyslexia support services to two universities here in Scotland. We have provided dyslexia support services to over 250 students and had over 500 requests for advice and guidance on dyslexia issues through out free phone and internet site.
At this time we currently have well over 450 members in our Facebook Cause. We are still a small organisation; but I want to take it further and do new things. For example I have designs for a new phone app and games and working to set up new mentoring scheme for dyslexic kids in school.
Dyslexia Pathways does some voluntary work for the Scottish government on a couple of parliamentary groups such as The Goodison Group and Preventative Spend Committee. There we try to raise a more positive profile of dyslexia whenever an opportunity arises.
We are all born with an innate desire and need to learn. When we send our dyslexic kids to school, they, like non - dyslexic kids want to learn, to read, to write and do all the other learning activities at school. However, because so many of our dyslexic kids either go un-assessed as being dyslexic or are known to be dyslexic but get little to no support they fail. Not because they are dyslexic but because they are not taught in ways they can access to learning effectively or with learning materials they can use. It is this that disables not dyslexia. Many dyslexics struggle in a non dyslexic world and it makes me wonder how non dyslexics would fare in a dyslexic world? It is this that turns so many dyslexic kids off of learning as it did to me.
The irony of this is that what is good teaching practise for dyslexic learners is good for all learners. Yet many dyslexic kids, like I did 40 years ago, still learn they are failures from an early age in school. This can impact on their self esteem and self confidence etc. It can lead to bullying, name calling etc. It can even affect relationships with parents and their future life opportunities.
For many dyslexics being dyslexic can seems like life sentence. Being dyslexic can put so many barriers in front of them from school, into everyday life, to training for work and in employment. These are not insurmountable barriers; it just takes a little support from a school or an employer to enable a dyslexic to overcome them.
Every dyslexic child who leaves school without any support for their dyslexia as school can blight that child for the rest of their lives. Many dyslexic boys end up in trouble with the police and end up in prison. Yet 20% to 35% of entrepreneurs are dyslexic. It’s a waste of the individual dyslexic’s potential and potential contribution to the economy.
I am hoping Dyslexia Pathways can become a positive force in changing this current status quo for many dyslexics.
Please feel free to visit my organisation’s web site:
Why not join my dyslexia / neuro diversity clan on my Unique Dyslexic Eye Podcasting Page
#PeaceLoveGroovyness from me Steve McCue
Your feedback and questions are welcomed
